Hello December!

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One of my favourite months has arrived. In the past I didn’t like it that much as it reminded me of a not so happy family time, but things change and for the last few years I just love it. I’m not a big fan of winter, but this one month I don’t mind it at all 🙂 The Christmas songs, the lights, the markets and the atmosphere – amazing! I try to overlook the commercialization of the holidays and see it as a happy time. Although it also leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

In the past, the reason for my sentimentalism and bitterness was that December meant the end of a year and I just didn’t like endings. All closures bring up emotions. Usually at the end of the year I had this nostalgic feeling, I was missing all the good things that happened that year and was sad they were over. Even if I knew they were gone, I couldn’t help myself looking back and getting all sentimental. When I was younger and I still wrote a diary, December was the time to read it and remember the good and bad things that happened that year. It was my way of saying goodbye.

I’d say that now I don’t live in the past as much as I used to, and I don’t get so nostalgic anymore. But I always find a reason to get emotional 🙂 I never really celebrated Christmas and I usually volunteered to work on Christmas eve. But then I started seeing all holidays (not just the December ones) as a time to spend with the loved ones and that’s why I like them so much. I used to have this tradition with my sister for the holidays – we would be putting together jigsaw puzzles. It was the best way to spend time together and it’s one of my favourite memories.

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This year’s xmas tree 🙂

 

Now I’m on the other side of the world

This is my second December away from home, family and friends. I never thought it was going to be this hard. I spent one December away from home before – in Australia – but it was different because I had family and friends there as well. I know that everyone who is living abroad feels sad during the holidays. But trust me, for some people – like flight attendants and people with similar professions – it’s even worse. When most of you will be spending the holidays with your families and friends, we will be all over the world. But alone. Or with strangers. Which is basically the same.

This December gave me a big need to have a “normal” life, which I usually don’t miss at all. All the other months I’m wondering how the hell I’m gonna be able to go back to a normal life after this job. It spoils you in every single way. I can travel the world easily – I have the time, the money and the tickets are cheap. I decide last minute and go somewhere, even if it’s just for a few days. I stay in nice hotels, I see new places all the time, I get massages in Thailand, fresh fruit and vegetables in Joburg, panettone in Rome. I go on leave every 2 months and still manage to save money. How can you go back to a normal life after all that? But the thing is, I do most of those things alone. There’s no one to share it with, except for strangers that I will never see again. I love the world and I love to travel, and I even enjoy doing it alone, for a while. But after one year I’m starting to miss some company. I have friends here too, but they are also flight attendants – with different rosters.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t miss my old life, I don’t want to go back to what it used to be. I’m not nostalgic anymore, remember? 🙂 I don’t even miss my home town or country. I don’t really miss places. I believe home is not a place, it’s the people we love.

I love the song Home by Michael Bublé, I can really relate. Listen here: Home

Everyday things

I realize more and more that the most valuable things in life can’t be bought and that happiness is only real when shared (I strongly recommend the movie Into the wild).

I just came back from Italy, where I visited lake Como. I imagine in summer it must be full of tourists, but in winter it’s an empty and peaceful place. I saw people living their everyday lives in a small town. It was such a nice sunny day and everyone was in a good mood (I love Italy!). And everyone knew each other. When I was walking by the lake I heard a man greeting a woman who was on her morning run. She said: “Not bad this life, huh?” He smiled and replied: “Not bad at all.” I miss these small things that are not part of my everyday life anymore. And I miss sharing these moments with someone.

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Beautiful day at lake Como

So in the light of living in the present moment, I’m just wondering: what do I want NOW, in this moment? Do I want to be in amazing places by myself, or do I want to be making memories with people I love? I know we can’t always have everything and sometimes the decisions are hard to make. But are they really that hard when we follow our hearts?

I wish you all happy holidays and I hope you will spend them with the people you love!

Love,

Nush

PS: I’m sure you’ve seen this video already, but it just goes so well with the post 🙂  click here

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